Feeling good.

Well, today felt really strange, but in a good way. I woke up at one, late for my hair appointment and got my haircut, nothing too drastic. Did my eyebrows and realized that Kelly, the bride/close family friend was at the salon too. We talked for a bit and expressed our excitement for tomorrow and tonight's bridal shower. (I'll express these lovely nostalgic feelings later on.)

Then, I went to go get my mom who was doing her nails at another friend's nail salon (that's basically a shop in the entrance of the subway). There, I offered to help Adrian, my mom's friend's son some help with his essay on banning e-cigarettes on planes (Ironic, eh? Since I have one in my possession right now...) and got some food. A man who regularly asks for a quarter everyday at the entrance of the subway was there. I made about three trips up and down the stairs, past him. I bought a drink and offered him a dollar.

I don't know why, but I felt like I should. I passed him about three times with something new in hand. I had my hair cut, my eyebrows did, food was five bucks, a drink was a dollar, and I had my iPad on my person. Really, what's a dollar to me if I've been mindlessly spending cash on things I probably won't recall later on tonight?

I'm not writing this because I'm trying to be holier than thou or brag that I did a semi-good deed. It was just the feeling when I saw his face light up that someone actually handed him a dollar. It was about 30 degrees today and it was cold as hell. He was just standing there, asking for change in a voice that was barely audible. He thanked me, "Thank you so much. I'm going to get a coffee so I can be warm inside. God bless you." I'm not religious, but I don't know why the last three words got to me. It was felt nice to hear "God bless you" (regardless of my skepticism of religion).

Sure, perhaps he gets government money or he's not as poor as he comes off as, but you know, even if the dollar goes for a beer instead of coffee (as he claimed), I hope I made his day a little better. Besides, it's really that cold today. If he didn't really want those quarters, why would he be standing there? The streets were empty and this is on Broadway, which is one of the busiest places in Queens. You're lucky if you even find parking. It was a good feeling not because I wanted to be like "Hey, I did this. Good karma for me." It's not about that. It's about seeing someone who's down on his luck and making his day a little brighter.

It was a nice cycle of good feelings because I went back downstairs and talked to Adrian about school. I told him that school can't be that bad because after middle school, it gets harder. He was talking about school and how he hated classwork. It felt good to talk to a kid for once because everything a kid says is so pure and not based on bullshit that is constantly laced in an older person's words.

Then, I got home and I took realized I do this routine thing everyday. I tend to look at the things on my wall, my artwork and study little details before I sit down and do whatever I'm about to do. I realized I cover my room in art because it sort of reminds me of going to a museum, even if it is my own work. I like studying every little detail, brushstroke and loose hairs of a cheap brush that stuck on the paper. I like studying faces and how a person's nose forms on their face or how their hair drapes before their eyes.

Yeah, that's basically what happened so far today. Now I'm just waiting to go to Kelly's. I probably made this whole passage longer than it has to be, but whatever. It's rare that I have so much to say. It's a good feeling.